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Author Topic: Parenting question  (Read 17200 times)

mutti

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Re: Parenting question
« Reply #30 on: October 03, 2012, 08:17:19 am »

scarmig has a great idea. With the first child, I tended to "overload with too much instruction" - i.e. First you do this, then I want you to do this, then this.   I never considered that a 5 yo might need to complete one task at a time.   It took a while until I figured out that it wasn't "not listening", but that I was assuming that because I multi-tasked - she could as well  :rolleyes:.

We started about age 3 with "jobs". Folding washcloths or cloth trifold diapers was the first one with the following 3 children. A task they could complete under their own power and succeed at. I must admit I even washed some clean washcloths to give them something to do.  ^_^

An interesting Job parenting. Just when you think you have it figured out....
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Moonbeam

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Re: Parenting question
« Reply #31 on: October 03, 2012, 02:30:50 pm »

An interesting Job parenting. Just when you think you have it figured out....

They throw a monkey wrench into the whole thing!!

PS - My Mom says this about the challenges of parenting: when you go some place without your kids you think, "Oh, I wish they were here. I think they would enjoy this." When you go some place with your kids you think, "Why the heck did I bring them?!?" So. True.  :laugh:
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Rarick

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Re: Parenting question
« Reply #32 on: October 05, 2012, 08:00:45 am »

It also outs the concept of "That is part of me but has its own mind now", humbling but ego boosting at the same time......   Trying to teach what NEEDS to be known, but allowing, and figuring out, what is grey free rein area so you do not smother them.
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mutti

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Re: Parenting question
« Reply #33 on: October 05, 2012, 08:20:26 am »

It also outs the concept of "That is part of me but has its own mind now", humbling but ego boosting at the same time......   Trying to teach what NEEDS to be known, but allowing, and figuring out, what is grey free rein area so you do not smother them.
+1
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“Rightful liberty is unobstructed action according to our will within limits drawn around us by the equal rights of others. I do not add 'within the limits of the law' because law is often but the tyrant's will, and always so when it violates the rights of the individual.”  Jefferson

"The universe never did make sense; I suspect it was built on government contract." Heinlein

MamaLiberty

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Re: Parenting question
« Reply #34 on: October 05, 2012, 08:32:06 am »

It also outs the concept of "That is part of me but has its own mind now", humbling but ego boosting at the same time......   Trying to teach what NEEDS to be known, but allowing, and figuring out, what is grey free rein area so you do not smother them.

Indeed... and accepting the fact that you can't do it perfectly. Sometimes you "figure" wrong and have to eat crow... back up, and try again. The great miracle is that these precious people with their own minds actually learn and benefit from that process too! They learn that they can make mistakes without the world ending.
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sharp_shepherd

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Re: Parenting question
« Reply #35 on: June 26, 2014, 09:53:36 am »

I've never been able to figure out how each of our 7 kids are soooo different from each other.  The two closest in age 21 and 20 hated each other so much growing up that they could rarely talk or be in the same room.  To much competition for moms attention....yes you can get pregnant while nursing a baby ;-).  Now, they are so close though hundreds of miles apart.  They call and text each other so much and have a real appreciation for each other.  So nice to see them now.
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knobster

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Re: Parenting question
« Reply #36 on: April 06, 2015, 11:15:36 am »

From time to time I like to look at old threads I started.  I guess as an update to my original question:

Kids (now 10, 8, 6) seem to be doing a bit better regarding wanting more, more, more.  We really have to stay on top of the behavior though - can't let our guard down for a moment!

One thing we implemented (seems silly but it works): whenever we are in a store with the kids we tell them they can ASK for one thing.  No guarantees that they'll get it so they have to be very careful about what they ask for.  So far it works; even when we tell them 'No' there are no further arguments and they don't pester us for anything else.  My middle daughter (the cleverest of the bunch) will sometimes ask, "mommy, would you like to get something like this?" 
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Moonbeam

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Re: Parenting question
« Reply #37 on: April 09, 2015, 02:14:32 pm »

My middle daughter (the cleverest of the bunch) will sometimes ask, "mommy, would you like to get something like this?"

Ah, I see she was separated at birth from my daughter. My DD will come up to us and say something like, "______ [her twin brother] wants _____ ." [insert current desire here] She believes we will give him (whatever) then he will turn around and give it to her.  :rolleyes:  :laugh: Gotta love them for trying!
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I'm not where I want to be, but I'm better than where I was!

Freedom is not being able to do what you want to do; freedom is being able to NOT do what you don't want to do.

"We must not amuse ourselves with the notion that we have done something when we have only formed a good resolution. Power comes by doing and not by resolving." Charlotte Mason

"Don't hurt people and don't take their stuff." Courtesy of FreedomWorks

knobster

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Re: Parenting question
« Reply #38 on: April 10, 2015, 05:47:55 am »

 :laugh:
Yes indeed.  I think at least a few times a week my wife and I will marvel at the different angles our children take to get what they want.  Too clever for their own good sometime.
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Splash22

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Re: Parenting question
« Reply #39 on: April 13, 2016, 08:44:52 am »

I wasn't sure where to put this post but figured 'Home Schooling' would at least draw all parents who currently have little ones roaming their halls.

For the past few months we've been battling with our children about appreciating what they have.  It seems all too often they are never satisfied.  We could drop the coolest gizmo in the world in their lap and five minutes later they would ask for the next thing.  I suppose it is human nature to always want the next thing (yup, that's me!) but how to drive the point home that one should be thankful for what they have?  By the way, the ages are 8, 6, and 4.  So digging ditches with spoons and then showing up an hour later with a shovel may not be the best plan...

Try dropping your Time into their lap , they'll appreciate it more. Kids remember and cherish the "most insignificant" memories of you than a toy. They'd in the long run, be much more thankful for you than any thing you offer them.
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MamaLiberty

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Re: Parenting question
« Reply #40 on: April 13, 2016, 08:51:35 am »

Try dropping your Time into their lap , they'll appreciate it more. Kids remember and cherish the "most insignificant" memories of you than a toy. They'd in the long run, be much more thankful for you than any thing you offer them.

True of most anyone, at any age. So many times my patient's family members would ask me what they could give to their elderly or dying loved one. My answer was always: TIME. They don't need "things" anymore, usually. What they usually  have the least of is quality time with those they love. Just sitting at the bedside, listening or just BEING there is a priceless gift.

And I think this personal presence is one of the most important parts of homeschooling.
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Splash22

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Re: Parenting question
« Reply #41 on: April 14, 2016, 07:08:03 pm »

Time, the most expensive, most scarce, the most cherished.
~S
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Jake

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Re: Parenting question
« Reply #42 on: April 15, 2016, 01:11:19 am »

I found chores and allowance to be a good starter.  After that, I added $5 for an A, $2.50 for a B, nothing for a C, you owe me $2.50 for a D, and $5 for an F.

Then hold their savings for an interest bearing account on the computer.  10% monthly and if it goes over $100 it becomes 10% annually.  They learned to hold about $90 to get that monthly and an extra $10 to spend monthly.

They both finished high school under age (18) and couldn't understand that i would not let them move out til they were 18.  But, I also told them about being emancipated in court.  My son asked me about how to do that.  I told him to go and find out.

He paid the $99 court fee and gathered supporters.  I could not appear in court with him on that day but wrote a letter to the judge in his behalf.

The judge told him that he gets several request of parents trying to rid their homes of wild kids through the emancipation program, and it was designed for kids just like my son and granted him his emancipation.  It was a special mark on their drivers license.

My son was proud and was asked when he was gonna move.  He said that he didn't need to now and stayed until after his birthday.
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