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Author Topic: Silly Stuff  (Read 555227 times)

gunnerclark

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Silly Stuff
« Reply #15 on: September 24, 2004, 11:17:08 pm »

The computer of tomorrow is a photoshop of several items. The printer part and the tv is shopped in. The main part is a display of a nuclear power plant control panel. The wheel raises and lowers the rods.
I do not have a link but that is what one guy commented on another blog. He was a nuc tech during the 50's and worked on a later model
 
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Hunter

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Silly Stuff
« Reply #16 on: September 24, 2004, 11:20:26 pm »

Hmmn. Interesting though that information may be, I think it is not silly. Boy, are you in trouble NOW.

A woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.

She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas / Holiday stamps?"

The clerk says, "What denomination?"

The woman says, "God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 20 Catholic, 10 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran,  7 Baptists and 3 Jewish.
 
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Hunter

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« Reply #17 on: September 24, 2004, 11:23:17 pm »

THE CLASS OF 2005
Just in case you weren't feeling old enough today, this will certainly change things. Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the Faculty a sense of the mindset of this year's incoming freshman.

Here is this year's list:
 
The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1983.
 
They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan Era and probably did not know he had ever been shot.
 
They were prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War was waged.

There has been only one Pope in their lifetime.

They were 10 when the Soviet Union broke apart and do not remember the Cold War.

They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.
 
Tianamen Square means nothing to them.
 
Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.

Atari predates them, as do vinyl albums.
 
The statement "You sound like a broken record" means nothing to them.

They have never owned a record player.
 
They have likely never played Pac Man and have never heard of Pong.
 
They may have never heard of an 8 track. The Compact Disc was introduced when they were 1 year old.
 
They have always had an answering machine.
 
Most have never seen a TV set with only 13 channels, nor have they seen a black and white TV.
 
They have always had cable.

There have always been VCRs, but they have no idea what BETA was.
 
They cannot fathom not having a remote control.

They don't know what a cloth baby diaper is, or know about the "Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up" commercial.
 
Feeling old Yet? There's more:
 
They were born the year that Walkmen were introduced by Sony.
 
Roller skating has always meant inline for them.

Michael Jackson has always been white.
 
Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.
 
They have no idea when or why Jordache jeans were cool.
 
Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.
 
They have never seen Larry Bird play.

They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
 
The Vietnam War is as ancient history to them as W.W.I, W.W.II and the Civil War.
 
They have no idea that Americans were ever held hostage in Iran.
 
They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.
 
They don't know who Mork was or where he was from. (The correct answer, by the way, is Ork)
 
They never heard: "Where's the beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel," or "De plane, de plane!"
 
They do not care who shot J.R. and have no idea who J.R. was.
 
Kansas, Chicago, Boston, America, and Alabama are places, not bands.

There has always been MTV.
 
They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.
 
Do you feel old yet? If you do, then pass this on to some other old fogies...but don't send it back to me, I feel old enough

 
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byron

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Silly Stuff
« Reply #18 on: September 25, 2004, 01:52:07 am »

Personality Test: I am a "merchant"
 
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Junker

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Silly Stuff
« Reply #19 on: September 25, 2004, 02:18:16 am »

Dreamer-Minstrel

O-Bla-Di
O-Bla-Da...
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RagnarDanneskjold

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« Reply #20 on: September 25, 2004, 05:11:25 am »

My barber charges only 7 bux for a haircut, 3 for a beard trim. His barbershop is on a major thoroughfare and parking is at a premium. He makes his money in volume (one saturday, he did 150 people by himself). So, he paid for 2 loading zone spots in front of the shop. The last time I was in, he was cracking me up with stories about other businesses and those spots, those will have to wait, and most likely were the type of story where "you had to be there."
However, he told some stories about bus loads of old men from retirement homes where he placed ads in their newsletters. Some seemed to be true and were funny - maybe I can relate them later.
I told you all that to tell you this (paraphrasing Bill Cosby). This one didn't seem like he really heard it from one of them:

Old guy (OG) goes to the doctor for a checkup.
Dr.: How is everything with you?
OG: Pretty good, doc, every morning precisely at 6:30 I empty my bladder, all systems are go there.
Dr: Good, good what else.
OG: Then every morning at 7:30 I empty my bowels and my colon stays good and clean.
Dr: Sounds great for a guy your age.
OG: Well, it would be, except I never get out of bed until 9:00.
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The Mayor is the Problem
The flagpole is the answer
We hung the first one
We can hang another one

The Firesign Theatre - from the album Boom Dot Bust

Dear Government
You are a ass shit.

A note from my younger son when he was 3.

When rights are outlawed, only outlaws will have rights. - Me


Round up everybody who can ride a horse or pull a trigger. Let's break out some Winchesters.  - John Wayne (Chisum)

Claire

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« Reply #21 on: September 25, 2004, 07:14:46 am »

Quote
Somewhat Amusing personality test - I'm a "Discoverer" myself.
Your distinct personality, The Benevolent Ruler might be found in most of the thriving kingdoms of the time. You are the idealistic social dreamer. Your overriding goal is to solve the people problems of your world. You are a social reformer who wants everyone to be happy in a world that you can visualize. You are exceptionally perceptive about the woes and needs of humankind. You often have the understanding and skill to readily conceive and implement the solutions to your perceptions. On the positive side, you are creatively persuasive, charismatic and ideologically concerned. On the negative side, you may be unrealistically sentimental, scattered and impulsive, as well as deviously manipulative. Interestingly, your preference is just as applicable in today's corporate kingdoms.

Benevolent ruler???? Scary!  
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Just as the flattery of friends often leads us astray, so the insults of enemies often do us good. -- St. Augustine, Confessions, Book IX, Chapter 8


When faith ceases to be a challenge to the standards of polite society, it is no longer, or has not yet become, faith. -- Donald Spoto, Reluctant Saint:  The Life of Francis of Assisi


My life is my message. -- Gandhi

Claire

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« Reply #22 on: September 25, 2004, 07:20:15 am »

Quote
Oh, I was gonna post this anyway so Claire would see it:
 
Claire is speechless while she cleans tea-spray off her keyboard.  :lol:  
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Just as the flattery of friends often leads us astray, so the insults of enemies often do us good. -- St. Augustine, Confessions, Book IX, Chapter 8


When faith ceases to be a challenge to the standards of polite society, it is no longer, or has not yet become, faith. -- Donald Spoto, Reluctant Saint:  The Life of Francis of Assisi


My life is my message. -- Gandhi

Joel

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Silly Stuff
« Reply #23 on: September 25, 2004, 08:20:38 am »

Okay, here's something funny.  Perplexing, but funny in an "it's six in the morning and I should already be working, so anything that keeps me from that fate for a moment must be funny" kind of way.

Quote
our distinct personality, The White Knight, might be found in most of the thriving kingdoms of the time. Don Quixote was a White Knight as was Joan of Arc, the Lone Ranger and Crusader Rabbit. As a White Knight you expect nothing in return for your good deeds. You are one of the true "Givers" of the world. You are the anonymous philanthropist who shares your wealth, your time and your life with others. To give, is its own reward and as a White Knight you seek no other. On the positive side you are merciful, sympathetic, helpful, giving and heroic. On the negative side you may be impulsively decisive, sentimental and misdirected. Interestingly, your preference is just as applicable in today's corporate kingdoms.

This is wrong enough to be funny, I guess.  Maybe when I wake up it'll be a real knee-slapper.

Who wrote this dumb personality test?  Most of the time I answered the questions at random, because I couldn't attach meaningful priorities to the choices.
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Yet another Freedomista blog: The Ultimate Answer to Kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.

Jebur27

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« Reply #24 on: September 25, 2004, 09:04:54 am »

The Prime Minister (well, maybe of the Kingdom of Joe).  

===================================================
I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.
- Frank Zappa
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There is only one thing that remains to us, that cannot be taken away: To act with courage and dignity and to stick to the ideals that have given meaning to life.
-Jawaharlal Nehru


There's no joke we can tell about the fedgov that they can't turn into an even more absurd truth about themselves.
-Claire Wolfe

"Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest". -- Denis Diderot

Jebur27

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« Reply #25 on: September 25, 2004, 09:05:47 am »

Got to love those lawyers

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
---------------------------------------------------
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
---------------------------------------------------
Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
---------------------------------------------------
Q: So the date of conception was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q:  And what were you doing at that time?
---------------------------------------------------
Q: Now Doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in their sleep,
they don't know about it until the next morning?
---------------------------------------------------
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
---------------------------------------------------
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 pm.
Q: And was Mr. Dennington dead at that time?
A:  No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
autopsy!
---------------------------------------------------
Q:  Doctor, before your performed the autopsy, did you check for a
pulse?
A:  No.
Q:  Did you check for blood pressure?
A:  No.
Q:  Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q:  So then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the
autopsy?
A:  No.
Q: How can you be so sure Doctor?
A:  Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q:  But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
somewhere!

 
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There is only one thing that remains to us, that cannot be taken away: To act with courage and dignity and to stick to the ideals that have given meaning to life.
-Jawaharlal Nehru


There's no joke we can tell about the fedgov that they can't turn into an even more absurd truth about themselves.
-Claire Wolfe

"Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest". -- Denis Diderot

Bear

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Silly Stuff
« Reply #26 on: September 25, 2004, 11:06:35 am »

Quote
QUOTE
Somewhat Amusing personality test - I'm a "Discoverer" myself.

Yep, Discoverer too... wonder if that's common for the folks here at TCF


And another one!

Bear
 
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"There is no good idea so perfect, so pure,
that Government can't do it badly."
-- Bear

Mos2

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Silly Stuff
« Reply #27 on: September 25, 2004, 11:08:51 am »

Quote
Quote
Scientists at the Rand have created this model to illustrate how a "home computer" could look like in the year 2004.


I'm just wondering what the heck the big steering wheel is for.... :blink:
It's an early form of the mouse. :-)
 
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Hunter

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« Reply #28 on: September 25, 2004, 12:31:41 pm »

Quote
Benevolent ruler???? Scary!
Now I know why I've always had this vague suspicious feeling around you....  :blink:  
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Hunter

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« Reply #29 on: September 25, 2004, 12:43:36 pm »

Quote
Quote
Oh, I was gonna post this anyway so Claire would see it:
 
Claire is speechless while she cleans tea-spray off her keyboard.  :lol:
Does this count as lese mageste?  :D  Well, it seems to have been a hit, anyway. Hmmmn... what else has it got in its pocketses?

Andy Rooney says, "As I grow in age, I value older women most of all.
Here are just a few reasons why:
 
An older woman will never wake you in the middle of the night to
ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.
 
An older woman knows herself well enough to be assured in who she
is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 50
give a damn what you might think about her.
 
An older single woman usually has had her fill of "meaningful
relationships" and "commitment." The last thing she needs in her life is another
dopey, clingy, whiny, dependent lover!
 
Older women are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with
you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant or show up at
your place at 2:00 AM. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate
to shoot you if they think they can get away with it. We often deserve it,
but they are too smart to think they can get away with it.
 
Most older women cook and entertain well.
 
An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women
friends.
A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend
because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Older women think, "Hey,
if you want her instead of me, go for it.'"
 
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins
to an older woman. She always knows.
 
An older woman looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not
true of younger women or drag queens.
 
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is far sexier
than her younger counterpart. Her libido's stronger, her fear of pregnancy
gone. Her experience of lovemaking is honed and reciprocal, and she's lived long
enough to know how to please a man in ways her daughter could never
dream of. (Young men, you have something to look forward to.) She's more
selective as she gets older, too.
 
Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if
you are a jerk or if you are acting like one. You can relax, because she
wants (demands?) you to be honest, too.
 
Yes, we praise older women for a multitude of reasons.
Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, successful, smart, well-coifed
babe of 60, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of
himself with some 29 year old cocktail waitress.
 
Ladies, I apologize for all of us. - Andy Rooney.


 
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