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Five Questions (With Insufficient Answers) And A Single Shining Maybe

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Q: What is the nature of God?

A: When the universe came to be, it was without form and void. That means it had no shape and consisted entirely of nothing. This was, obviously, an untenable situation. The shape lacking, imaginary particles that made up the universe were ashamed to be part of such a loser universe. They had to do something.

Lacking Craigslist, they settled on screaming piteously into the uncaring nothingness like whiny little bitches. Over the non-ages this created an atmosphere of existential annoyance. From this atmosphere a Being arose.

This Being was God.

God was, by nature, profoundly pissed off. It had been created by the sheer aggravation of countless shrieking, unsubstantial bits of loser. What else could It be?

It lit into the universe like a buzzsaw (though it may be more logical to say a buzzsaw functions like a just formed God). It pounded those noisy fucks into a shape, cursed them into temporal existence, and swore up and down that it would spend the rest of Eternity making them pay, pay, pay, pay.

And it came to be.

And God said it was good.


Q: What is the nature of Man?

A: The first Man was created when God got bored with abusing imaginary particles. It was all well and good, true, but It wanted something to hit that would have a bit more reaction. Would provide a little more tangible amusement. Would, at least, scream in a more interesting way.

So It invented some shit called dirt and formed a Man out of it. Being curious, it made another version, slightly different. As a joke, it kept both.

It placed the Man and Woman into a Paradise, made them a bunch of promises, gave them some rather arbitrary and stupid rules. Then It waited. You could almost see It bounce in impatient glee.

Sure enough, the brand-new foolish creatures broke the arbitrary and stupid rule and God did what God does.

It spent the rest of eternity making those pitiful creatures pay, pay, pay, pay.

And this, too, was good.



Q: Does Heaven exist?

A: What are you, retarded?



Q: Does Hell exist?

A: Look around, dumbass.



Q: What is the Meaning Of Life?

A: Don't you get it yet, moron? There is no meaning to any of this nonsense, other than what God decides to impose on it. The universe is shrieking nothingness. Your God is an angry psychopath who can't get over being created in a less than ideal way. Your life is an accidental confluence of ridiculous improbabilities focused on a single point in chaotic, traveling time-space.

Your purpose is to suffer. Your only goal is to return to oblivion once God has tired of toying with you. You can't even off yourself to hurry the process along, since that will just piss God off even more. It doesn't like It's creations trying to escape. It'll get bored with you when It feels like it, and not a moment sooner.

Hmm.

There is...well...

I probably shouldn't tell you this, since it will no doubt just give you pointless, tragic hope, but..

There are some scholars, certain thinkers, who posit, based on a rigorous study of the ephemeral rules they find themselves mired in, that God might eventually get over It's divine Issues.

I mean, it's possible. Almost anything's possible in such a pointless universe. Think about it. God's own whining might wake up an even bigger God who will put It's boot up God's ass and tell It to shut the fuck up and leave those stupid dirtthings alone, for itssake. That, listened to properly, those screaming particles are kind of nice. Make a sort of music.

Maybe.

And that's the saddest thing of all, really. That possibility of hope. That tiny, statistical if of compassion. That in all this impossibility of heaven and certainty of hell there might just be the opportunity for change.

Wouldn't that be good?

[Bill St. Clair]

 

Bravo, George!

[Claire]

George, I ponder these questions in the middle of the night myself, and come up with similar -- though generally more polite  answers. My answers aren't as articulate as yours, either.

Given the large Christian contingent among TMM's newbies, if any venture down here into the dark corners of Writers Block, you're going to get some heated comment.

Guess you knew that already ...

[Bill St. Clair]

Reposted at https://billstclair.com/blog/gloryroad/five-questions.html

[freewoman]

Nice, George.  I particularly liked this part:

And that's the saddest thing of all, really. That possibility of hope. That tiny, statistical if of compassion. That in all this impossibility of heaven and certainty of hell there might just be the opportunity for change.

Hope is one of the most wonderful, and one of the most torturous, emotions humans ever invented. 

[Bill St. Clair]

Hope is one of the most wonderful, and one of the most torturous, emotions humans ever invented. 

Indeed, but if it weren't for hope, I would have eaten my shotgun long ago.

[freewoman]

Hope is one of the most wonderful, and one of the most torturous, emotions humans ever invented. 

Indeed, but if it weren't for hope, I would have eaten my shotgun long ago.

With or without hot sauce?   

[Who...me?]

My question is why isn't this considered trolling?  I seems to be nothing but a post designed to belittle those who do believe in God and provoke a heated answer.  Seems to be a clear violation of the first right.

TMM's RIGHTS

1.  Civility:  TMM asks that all participation in the forums be civil and respectful.  Posts which are defamatory, abusive, vulgar, hateful, harassing, obscene, or violate another individual's rights may be deleted.

When someone posts an opinion that disrespects others belief in Liberty or Anarchy most of you get all pissed and flame them into a cinder.

I know there are those that believe in God here but none of them preach to everyone else that they have to believe the same thing.  Most everyone here at least gives others a minimum of respect and would stand and fight for  others right to follow their own path.

Maybe I was wrong...

[Claire]

Who...me? I respectfully differ. It strikes me that this is both literature from the best writer on TMM (George Potter) and an expression of the frustrations of a disappointed seeker.

I can't even remotely see it as an attack on anybody.

I think you're right that, in general the religious people on TMM don't try to convert others, which is a blessing. But Christians do freely express their beliefs here (many threads urge others to pray, for instance, including, I believe, an important thread of yours; and many people have said things like "I couldn't get along without my faith," etc.). Everybody else should be entitled to express their beliefs, as well -- or their doubts or disbeliefs. That's particularly true in Writers Block, which is the one area of the forum that's more for pure self-expression than for political discussion.

George never said he expected anybody else to share his views.

My $.02,
Claire

[LaughingBear]

Who...me? I respectfully differ. It strikes me that this is both literature from the best writer on TMM (George Potter) and an expression of the frustrations of a disappointed seeker.

I can't even remotely see it as an attack on anybody.

I think you're right that, in general the religious people on TMM don't try to convert others, which is a blessing. But Christians do freely express their beliefs here (many threads urge others to pray, for instance, including, I believe, an important thread of yours; and many people have said things like "I couldn't get along without my faith," etc.). Everybody else should be entitled to express their beliefs, as well -- or their doubts or disbeliefs. That's particularly true in Writers Block, which is the one area of the forum that's more for pure self-expression than for political discussion.

George never said he expected anybody else to share his views.

My $.02,
Claire

She's right you know...

[Who...me?]

Who...me? I respectfully differ. It strikes me that this is both literature from the best writer on TMM (George Potter) and an expression of the frustrations of a disappointed seeker.

I can't even remotely see it as an attack on anybody.

I think you're right that, in general the religious people on TMM don't try to convert others, which is a blessing. But Christians do freely express their beliefs here (many threads urge others to pray, for instance, including, I believe, an important thread of yours; and many people have said things like "I couldn't get along without my faith," etc.). Everybody else should be entitled to express their beliefs, as well -- or their doubts or disbeliefs. That's particularly true in Writers Block, which is the one area of the forum that's more for pure self-expression than for political discussion.

George never said he expected anybody else to share his views.

My $.02,
Claire

Q: Does Heaven exist?

A: What are you, retarded?

Q: Does Hell exist?

A: Look around, dumbass

Q: What is the Meaning Of Life?

A: Don't you get it yet, moron?

So referring to anyone who believes in heaven as a retard, a dumb ass and a moron  isn't a personal attack against them?  And while you are right that those that do believe express their view none of them are talking down to those that do not have the same views.  Let alone refer to them as retarded.

Couldn't the same information have been expressed by simply posting a link to it with a note telling everyone that it is one of George's writings?

[Undefined]

My question is why isn't this considered trolling?  I seems to be nothing but a post designed to belittle those who do believe in God and provoke a heated answer.  Seems to be a clear violation of the first right.

TMM's RIGHTS

1.  Civility:  TMM asks that all participation in the forums be civil and respectful.  Posts which are defamatory, abusive, vulgar, hateful, harassing, obscene, or violate another individual's rights may be deleted.

When someone posts an opinion that disrespects others belief in Liberty or Anarchy most of you get all pissed and flame them into a cinder.

I know there are those that believe in God here but none of them preach to everyone else that they have to believe the same thing.  Most everyone here at least gives others a minimum of respect and would stand and fight for  others right to follow their own path.

Maybe I was wrong...

LMFAO! You know, if you read a little closer, without the blinders, you might see a metaphor concerning another widespread religious belief that permeates the world.

But nah, just easier to hint at some hoped for censorship. Typical.

Get over yourself.

[Who...me?]

Ya ok I read it again and looked for your so called bullshit metaphor but didn't see it. All I saw was someone making fun of other folks beliefs.

Maybe you could explain it to me since i am obviously a moron.

But nah, just easier to hint at some hoped for censorship. Typical.

And the only typical thing I see is you putting word in someone else's mouth.  I never said that he didn't have the right to say anything he wanted to did I?  I don't hint about anything. If I want to make a point I don't play with words or use "metaphors", I say what I mean.

And if anyone needs to "get over themselves" it isn't me.

[Undefined]

Ya ok I read it again and looked for your so called bullshit metaphor but didn't see it. All I saw was someone making fun of other folks beliefs.

Maybe you could explain it to me since i am obviously a moron.

But nah, just easier to hint at some hoped for censorship. Typical.

And the only typical thing I see is you putting word in someone else's mouth.  I never said that he didn't have the right to say anything he wanted to did I?  I don't hint about anything. If I want to make a point I don't play with words or use "metaphors", I say what I mean.

And if anyone needs to "get over themselves" it isn't me.

Actually, welcome to my ignore list. I suggest you do the same, because I am now going to make it my purpose to write story after story ridiculing Christianity and it's idiotic 'defenders' who couldn't understand a parable if it bit them on the fucking ass.

Have fun! I will.

[Bill St. Clair]

I remember telling the first paragraph of Douglas Adams' "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe" to the wife of a friend. She was offended. I didn't understand why. That paragraph, as I remember it, is:

In the beginning, the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people angry and is generally regarded as a bad move.

Some people just don't like sarcasm.