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Author Topic: What Women need to know  (Read 15165 times)

Klapton Isgod

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Re: What Women need to know
« Reply #30 on: August 01, 2009, 08:40:13 am »

Clearly it was meant to be uplifting and encouraging, and that your feelings were sincere.  We appreciate your desire to be positive and inspirational in a community that spends most of it's time ranting about things we don't like.

THANK YOU.
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gaurdduck

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Re: What Women need to know
« Reply #31 on: August 01, 2009, 08:58:49 am »

Clearly it was meant to be uplifting and encouraging, and that your feelings were sincere.  We appreciate your desire to be positive and inspirational in a community that spends most of it's time ranting about things we don't like.

THANK YOU.


I concur.
I also thank you.
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Mad Wet Hen

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Re: What Women need to know
« Reply #32 on: August 01, 2009, 11:03:34 am »

I will not apologize for my beliefs. I believe that no one has the right to hurt anyones feelings when one does, they not only step on that persons right but they give up some of their rights. Everyone has a right to feel the way they do so for self preservation I took the objection away. I will not make anyone mad on propose and I felt that was what was happening. This world has enough fighting and anger to create enough energy to power everything for a life time even if it all stopped right no if we had saved it in some way. I am not good with words so it is hard for me to even try and post anywhere. I am now sure that I will think more then 3 times before I open my mouth.
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I have GOD and GUTS one thing left to go.
God protect my little girl soldier as she does what she thinks is right. Keep her safe in the monthes to come as she prepares to go over seas at the will of teptb please make sure that he that sends them odes his part by making sure they have all the equipment and food they need. AMEN.

Claire

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Re: What Women need to know
« Reply #33 on: August 01, 2009, 01:17:44 pm »

I will not apologize for my beliefs. I believe that no one has the right to hurt anyones feelings when one does, they not only step on that persons right but they give up some of their rights. Everyone has a right to feel the way they do so for self preservation I took the objection away. I will not make anyone mad on propose and I felt that was what was happening. This world has enough fighting and anger to create enough energy to power everything for a life time even if it all stopped right no if we had saved it in some way. I am not good with words so it is hard for me to even try and post anywhere. I am now sure that I will think more then 3 times before I open my mouth.

Wow. I didn't see anybody getting angry or fighting. I just saw normal back-and-forth in (as Lazarus Long noted) a stimulating discussion. I'm sorry you took your original post down.

I also sure didn't see anybody asking you to apologize for your beliefs. You certainly have a right to your own beliefs -- as do those who disagree.

« Last Edit: August 01, 2009, 01:19:23 pm by Claire »
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coloradohermit

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Re: What Women need to know
« Reply #34 on: August 01, 2009, 02:40:22 pm »

Cordobablue, I too am sorry that you took down your original post. It has provoked some really good discussion and probably some very worthwhile self examination. I was very lucky to have parents who didn't always adhere to the stereotypic gender roles. Daddy included me in his activities.  Much "man stuff" was learning experience for him so I also learned how to learn to do things. Another plus was that he was smallish for a man so we frequently learned how to think outside the box rather than just muscling into something.  It would almost never occur to me that I couldnt do something. 
    This may not apply to anyone but me, but where I've run into troubles over the years with self worth comes from nowhere and no one other than my own inner self.  My parents were so loving and so encouraging that they should have raised a perfect wonderkind. But when they said "You can do better" I heard "you're not good enough". It took me many years to see how I was the one who had turned it all around.  Part of it was a level of laziness.  I didn't want to excell and have high expectations heaped on me.  Still don't particularly.  But I have come to see several things that contribute hugely to my well being. One is that I don't have to meet anyone's expectations but my own. F%@k them if they can't take a joke. Another is that I am the only one who is ultimately in control of my feelings. You can't hurt my feelings. I can,and oftentimes do, allow someone to hurt my feelings, but that's on me and not them.  And finally, if someone tells me something I don't want to hear and it makes me angry or upset, the first thing I must do is examine it for any nugget of truth.  Why have I reacted strongly?  My normal reaction to a whole bunch of things is to be defensive. That's pretty much who I am, but I now know that and I can take a step back and not react overtly to every little coment thrown my way.
   I don't think anything has been said in this thread that was intended to be hurtful or critical of anyone. No one has been mean spirited or dismissive.  We all come from our own frame of reference which we insert, consciously or not, into our thinking. Freedom involves seeing and escaping those personal chains that hold us down.  Your thread and initial post were an invitation to look at and loosen some of our chains.  Stand and be proud or tell them to  :thebirdman: if they can't take a joke.
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Moonbeam

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Re: What Women need to know
« Reply #35 on: August 02, 2009, 02:13:35 pm »

If I may be so bold... I do believe that CORDOBABLE's original post was meant as a tool of encouragement for the women who post here, and was not intended to create a maelstrom of opinions as to its merit. Her intention wasn't to elicit comments about its goodness, accuracy or worthiness. And even though the discussion has been lively, introspective and even entertaining, please bear in mind that all she meant to do was post something she found encouraging and inspirational -- then merely wanting to share that sentiment.

With all due respect I totally disagree with the comparison of wanting "friends to question or shoot down [my] faulty ideas" to be asserted here. In my opinion, that's apples and oranges. I too, would take offense at that remark because it's implied that she has faulty ideas -- when all she did was post something that was meant to encourage, buoy and hearten the spirit; not post something that was necessarily all encompassing of her own personal ideas and beliefs.

If you're a little taken aback that she's upset then you're not seeing the whole picture. This isn't about having a mature, natural, passionate discussion; some of the posts seemed to question whether or not there was any value in the original post. Yes, it goes without saying that we're all entitled to have our opinions, but perhaps a wise thing would have been to withhold some of those opinions. Sometimes it's hard not to misconstrue some posts as being critical -- especially given that the original post was about uplifting the spirit in a place (this online board) where the news is often dreary...
« Last Edit: August 02, 2009, 11:13:50 pm by Moonbeam »
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I'm not where I want to be, but I'm better than where I was!

Freedom is not being able to do what you want to do; freedom is being able to NOT do what you don't want to do.

"We must not amuse ourselves with the notion that we have done something when we have only formed a good resolution. Power comes by doing and not by resolving." Charlotte Mason

"Don't hurt people and don't take their stuff." Courtesy of FreedomWorks

Mad Wet Hen

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Re: What Women need to know
« Reply #36 on: August 02, 2009, 06:53:22 pm »

Just in case anyone wants to see the there one I found, here it is. This one bust be where the one I posted first came from. I know not all women are like this but we should all try.

By the time the Lord made woman, He was into his sixth day of working overtime.
An angel appeared and said, 'Why are you spending so much time on this one?'
And the Lord answered, 'Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart -and she will do everything with only two hands.'

The angel was astounded at the requirements. 'Only two hands!? No way! And that's just on the standard model? That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish.'

'But I won't, ' the Lord protested. 'I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days.'

The angel moved closer and touched the woman. 'But you have made her so soft, Lord.'

'She is soft,' the Lord agreed, 'but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.'

'Will she be able to think?', asked the angel.

The Lord replied, 'Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate.'

The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek. 'Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.'

'That's not a leak,'
the Lord corrected,
'that's a tear!'
'What's the tear for?' the angel asked.

The Lord said, 'The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her  disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride.'

The angel was impressed. 'You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing.'

And she is!
Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice . They don't take 'no' for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards . T hey are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE TINY FLAW IN WOMEN,

IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
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I have GOD and GUTS one thing left to go.
God protect my little girl soldier as she does what she thinks is right. Keep her safe in the monthes to come as she prepares to go over seas at the will of teptb please make sure that he that sends them odes his part by making sure they have all the equipment and food they need. AMEN.

da gooch

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Re: What Women need to know
« Reply #37 on: August 02, 2009, 10:03:44 pm »

If I may be so bold... I do believe that CORDOBABLE's original post was meant as a tool of encouragement for the women who post here, and was not intended to to create a maelstrom of opinions as to its merit. Her original intention wasn't about eliciting comments about its goodness, accuracy or worthiness. And even though the discussion has been lively, introspective and even entertaining, please bear in mind that all she meant to do was post something she found encouraging and inspirational -- then merely wanting to share that sentiment.

With all due respect I totally disagree with the comparison of wanting "friends to question or shoot down [my] faulty ideas" to be asserted here. In my opinion, that's apples and oranges. I too, would take offense at that remark because it's implied that she has faulty ideas -- when all she did was post something meant to encourage, buoy and hearten the spirit, not post something that was necessarily all encompassing of her own personal ideas and beliefs.

If you're a little taken aback that she's upset then you're not seeing the whole picture. This isn't about having a mature, natural, passionate discussion; some of the posts seemed to question whether or not there was any value in the original post. Yes, it goes without saying that we're all entitled to have our opinions, but perhaps a wise thing would have been to withhold some of those opinions. Sometimes it's hard not to misconstrue some posts as being critical -- especially given that the original post was about uplifting the spirit in a place (this online board) where the news is often dreary...

Advice noted, accepted and followed.

I for one am glad cordobablue decided to join us here at TMM.
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Lazarus Long

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Re: What Women need to know
« Reply #38 on: August 03, 2009, 12:26:55 am »

I, too, am happy to have Cordobablue here, and as I said before, I'm sorry that she found the thread that resulted here offensive.

I see that she intended her original post to be something inspirational and encouraging. But may I take the liberty of sharing my understanding of the psychology that may have led to this thread going in the direction that it did?

Many who practice preparedness and/or hold to a Golden-Rule-style anarchist or minarchist worldview feel different from the sheeple around them. We feel like a different species. We feel like we're awake in a world full of sleepwalkers, or we feel old-fashioned in a world that is barreling towards futuristic dystopia, or we feel like a handful of hedgehogs in a field dominated by sheep and wolves and their conflicts. Or whatever. In any case, we feel different from most of the people we deal with on a daily basis. We enjoy coming here to TMM and other enclaves of freedom online because we can be ourselves and talk shop with like-minded people. So far, so good.

Since we live on a planet full of, and mostly run by, sheeple and wolves, those of us who are neither frequently get cookie cuttered, shoe-horned, or simply forced into molds and systems that just plain old don't apply to us. Weren't built for us, weren't built by us, weren't designed and aren't run by anyone with an inkling of sympathy or understanding for the kind of individuals we are. In fact, a lot of these sheeple systems seem to have been designed by sheeple, to spite those of us who aren't wooly and don't say, "baaaaaa." 

"They aren't wooly, and they never say, "baaaaaa," so they're nasty and they deserve to be shoved into this Procrustean bed we've made for them." Sad but true.

We daily feel the uncomfortable effects of other people trying to pigeonhole us and force us into their molds. Sometimes this happens in their minds, and it's just annoying. Sometimes it physically happens, in the form of forced vaccinations or abortions, or drug busts, or whatever.

As a result of this felt discomfort, we come to dislike sweeping statements, since they may well be untrue of us and those we love. And if the sweeping statement clearly contradicts our own experience, then the reaction comes from even deeper in the gut. In other words, some of us are quite touchy about generalizations.

Knee-jerk reactions aren't always wise or nice. But they happen for a reason.

So how's that for a whole bunch of relatively sweeping statements?  ^_^  If they aren't true of you yourself, please feel free to beat me with an ugly stick.

Now, I regret that my earlier statements offended cordobablue. In the future, I may ask myself a little harder if a poster is looking for in intellectual response or just an encouraging word in return. I may just move on and go post geeky stuff in the Open Source Tech Gulch.

I'm 100% certain that cordobablue had no ill intent, even if her post may have been perceived as overly general and not quite true according to some of our experiences. I'm sorry that she was upset by the ensuing discussion. But one person's falling-out is someone else's stimulating discussion.

I'd rather we grew to understand and love each other better, than that we quit talking.

This is a unique community, and it would pay us to understand its history, and the reasons why we are different from the average Joe at the water cooler. We would benefit ourselves even more if we can stick together instead of falling apart over relatively trivial arguments.

[Edit for typos.]
« Last Edit: August 03, 2009, 08:00:37 am by Lazarus Long »
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Mad Wet Hen

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Re: What Women need to know
« Reply #39 on: August 03, 2009, 01:18:45 am »

Lazarus Long,
I did not stop talking for any other reason then to figure out a way to:
1. Make myself understand that you most likely are the type of peerson that by saying what you feel by the first thought in your mind and forgetting to think that maybe you might hurt someones feels. Many people are that way, some because of the way they had to be to survive others because they never had to and then there are more reasons that I can not think of right now.
2. I wanted to let everyone know that I care about everyone.
3. That females that get put in the same box as those that don't care need not feel bad about themselves for a few bad apples don't spoil all.
4. that there are some man that have been burned so badly that they can't or won't let another female hurt them again so we have to try to understand them and help them if we can for we are the mothers of the future. If we don't show Love and Compation to those that need it we will not have a future.

I must also let you know that just because I care a great deal for people does not mean that I am dumb or blind. I can and will hurt anyone if I must to protect myself, friends, loved ones and the future generations to come for being made slaves in any way I can. I can be like a wounded lioness trying to protect her cubs for any enemy. Few have tried to see what I am like when they decide to hurt someone I live and the few that have do regret it, even my children say jokingly that heaven don't want me had hell is afraid I'll take over. I laugh when they say this. but it is fun to hear for I know that is the way they say we love you mom and believe you will as long as you live take care of us as long as it is in your power even if we can take care of ourselves. I try to be the most caring woman I can and I have and do take care of those that are mine when they let me, or if they can not take care of themself do to something beyond there control when I can.
Having said all that I hope that you understand that anything you say will not make me stop fighting for yours as well as anyone else on this sights FREEDOM.

I hope that I said this in a way that you understand that I hole no real hard feeling. I also hope that I said this in a way that makes since to you as I am not ever good with words without being able to show emotion.
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I have GOD and GUTS one thing left to go.
God protect my little girl soldier as she does what she thinks is right. Keep her safe in the monthes to come as she prepares to go over seas at the will of teptb please make sure that he that sends them odes his part by making sure they have all the equipment and food they need. AMEN.

da gooch

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Re: What Women need to know
« Reply #40 on: August 03, 2009, 11:41:02 am »

I will not apologize for my beliefs. I believe that no one has the right to hurt anyones feelings when one does, they not only step on that persons right but they give up some of their rights. Everyone has a right to feel the way they do so for self preservation I took the objection away. I will not make anyone mad on propose and I felt that was what was happening. This world has enough fighting and anger to create enough energy to power everything for a life time even if it all stopped right no if we had saved it in some way. I am not good with words so it is hard for me to even try and post anywhere. I am now sure that I will think more then 3 times before I open my mouth.

Wow. I didn't see anybody getting angry or fighting. I just saw normal back-and-forth in (as Lazarus Long noted) a stimulating discussion. I'm sorry you took your original post down.

I also sure didn't see anybody asking you to apologize for your beliefs. You certainly have a right to your own beliefs -- as do those who disagree.


Ditto the above.

Kudos LL,  A very good explanation it seems to ME.

I have the strangest feeling that at some point in the future we will all laugh about this whole misunderstanding ....
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"Come and Take It"  Gonzales, Texas 1835

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gaurdduck

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Re: What Women need to know
« Reply #41 on: August 03, 2009, 01:08:13 pm »

I will not apologize for my beliefs. I believe that no one has the right to hurt anyones feelings when one does, they not only step on that persons right but they give up some of their rights. Everyone has a right to feel the way they do so for self preservation I took the objection away. I will not make anyone mad on propose and I felt that was what was happening. This world has enough fighting and anger to create enough energy to power everything for a life time even if it all stopped right no if we had saved it in some way. I am not good with words so it is hard for me to even try and post anywhere. I am now sure that I will think more then 3 times before I open my mouth.

Wow. I didn't see anybody getting angry or fighting. I just saw normal back-and-forth in (as Lazarus Long noted) a stimulating discussion. I'm sorry you took your original post down.

I also sure didn't see anybody asking you to apologize for your beliefs. You certainly have a right to your own beliefs -- as do those who disagree.


Ditto the above.

Kudos LL,  A very good explanation it seems to ME.

I have the strangest feeling that at some point in the future we will all laugh about this whole misunderstanding ....

Only if Ms Blue squirts beer out her nose.
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Moonbeam

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Re: What Women need to know
« Reply #42 on: August 04, 2009, 05:01:35 pm »

Many who practice preparedness and/or hold to a Golden-Rule-style anarchist or minarchist worldview feel different from the sheeple around them... Since we live on a planet full of, and mostly run by, sheeple and wolves, those of us who are neither frequently get cookie cuttered, shoe-horned, or simply forced into molds and systems that just plain old don't apply to us. Weren't built for us, weren't built by us, weren't designed and aren't run by anyone with an inkling of sympathy or understanding for the kind of individuals we are. In fact, a lot of these sheeple systems seem to have been designed by sheeple, to spite those of us who aren't wooly and don't say, "baaaaaa." We daily feel the uncomfortable effects of other people trying to pigeonhole us and force us into their molds. Sometimes this happens in their minds, and it's just annoying. Sometimes it physically happens, in the form of forced vaccinations or abortions, or drug busts, or whatever... As a result of this felt discomfort, we come to dislike sweeping statements, since they may well be untrue of us and those we love. And if the sweeping statement clearly contradicts our own experience, then the reaction comes from even deeper in the gut. In other words, some of us are quite touchy about generalizations...

Knee-jerk reactions aren't always wise or nice. But they happen for a reason.

I'd rather we grew to understand and love each other better, than that we quit talking.

I've noticed a kind of elitism in the world of those who practice preparedness/survivalism -- not from everyone of course. The "sheeple" make sweeping generalizations about preppers but, preppers certainly make sweeping generalizations about "sheeple," too. Generalizations aren't always wise or nice. But they happen for a reason...
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I'm not where I want to be, but I'm better than where I was!

Freedom is not being able to do what you want to do; freedom is being able to NOT do what you don't want to do.

"We must not amuse ourselves with the notion that we have done something when we have only formed a good resolution. Power comes by doing and not by resolving." Charlotte Mason

"Don't hurt people and don't take their stuff." Courtesy of FreedomWorks

dogsledder54

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Re: What Women need to know
« Reply #43 on: August 04, 2009, 09:19:46 pm »

Just in case anyone wants to see the there one I found, here it is. This one bust be where the one I posted first came from. I know not all women are like this but we should all try.
  By the time the Lord made woman, He was into his sixth day of working overtime.
An angel appeared and said, 'Why are you spending so much time on this one?'
And the Lord answered, 'Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart -and she will do everything with only two hands.'
  The angel was astounded at the requirements. 'Only two hands!? No way! And that's just on the standard model? That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish.'
  'But I won't, ' the Lord protested. 'I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days.'
The angel moved closer and touched the woman. 'But you have made her so soft, Lord.'
'She is soft,' the Lord agreed, 'but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.'
'Will she be able to think?', asked the angel.
The Lord replied, 'Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate.'
  The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek. 'Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.'
'That's not a leak,'
the Lord corrected,
'that's a tear!'
'What's the tear for?' the angel asked.
The Lord said, 'The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her  disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride.'
The angel was impressed. 'You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing.'
  And she is!
Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice . They don't take 'no' for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards . T hey are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give.
  HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE TINY FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

That is very good. I understand it, now that you posted the complete story.  ;-]
Just one more thing-  Although you are correct that people SHOULDN'T intentionally hurt others' feelings, we DO NOT have the right to not be offended. Otherwise, no one could say ANYTHING, because no matter WHAT you say, no matter how profound or how trivial, SOMEONE will, rightly or wrongly, be offended.
:mellow:   
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Moonbeam

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Re: What Women need to know
« Reply #44 on: August 04, 2009, 09:32:59 pm »

... we DO NOT have the right to not be offended...

I concur...
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I'm not where I want to be, but I'm better than where I was!

Freedom is not being able to do what you want to do; freedom is being able to NOT do what you don't want to do.

"We must not amuse ourselves with the notion that we have done something when we have only formed a good resolution. Power comes by doing and not by resolving." Charlotte Mason

"Don't hurt people and don't take their stuff." Courtesy of FreedomWorks
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