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Author Topic: Botanicide  (Read 4288 times)

Kirsten

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Botanicide
« on: September 10, 2006, 05:27:21 pm »

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« Last Edit: March 14, 2007, 06:32:44 pm by Kirsten »
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Pagan

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Re: Botanicide
« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2006, 06:23:02 pm »

Quote
I killed a tree last weekend.

Why?
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Joel

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Re: Botanicide
« Reply #2 on: September 10, 2006, 06:47:48 pm »

It offended her.  Do not piss Kirsten off.
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Pagan

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Re: Botanicide
« Reply #3 on: September 10, 2006, 07:17:14 pm »

I just asked a simple question, John. I thought she might have some good motivation for killing the tree -- or some good reason for telling us about it.
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Tom P.

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Re: Botanicide
« Reply #4 on: September 10, 2006, 07:43:16 pm »

Umm... I think he ment the tree offended her.... taunts of mothers smelling like elderberry I would assume.
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Kirsten

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Re: Botanicide
« Reply #5 on: September 10, 2006, 08:18:54 pm »

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« Last Edit: April 04, 2007, 02:04:14 pm by Kirsten »
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Pagan

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Re: Botanicide
« Reply #6 on: September 11, 2006, 01:53:52 am »

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Er, I mean, I was learning to use a chainsaw which I suppose would put it in the accomplishments category.

Thanks for the answer.
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Jac

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Re: Botanicide
« Reply #7 on: September 11, 2006, 12:22:06 pm »

It is impossible to say how first the idea entered my brain, but, once conceived, it haunted me day and night. Object there was none. Passion there was none. I loved the young tree. It had never wronged me. It had never given me insult. For its sap I had no desire. I think it was its knot! Yes, it was this! One of its knots resembled the eye of an IRS agent -- a pale blue eye with a film over it. Whenever it fell upon me my blood ran cold, and so by degrees, very gradually, I made up my mind to take the life of the tree, and thus rid myself of the knot forever.
That is unbelievably disturbed. :ph34r:

That story creeps me out.
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I have never regretted that I chose to "take the red pill." But there are days, just rarely, when the truth is so ugly, so brutal, so unmerciful, so relentless, that even if I wouldn't rip the truth from the wall socket and hurl it out the window to crash on the sidewalk below, I wouldn't mind if it featured a snooze button so we could savor just a few more moments in slumbered pretension and warm, fuzzy lies pulled snugly up over our heads.
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Kirsten

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Re: Botanicide
« Reply #8 on: September 11, 2006, 12:44:13 pm »

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« Last Edit: April 04, 2007, 02:02:56 pm by Kirsten »
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PintofStout

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Re: Botanicide
« Reply #9 on: September 11, 2006, 03:37:41 pm »

Instead of hiding the remains under the floor boards you made floor boards out of the remains?

WHen I first saw the subject, I thought you were talking about the ditchweed thread.
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Joel

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Re: Botanicide
« Reply #10 on: September 11, 2006, 04:36:11 pm »

Now this is the point. You fancy her mad. Madwomen know nothing. But you should have seen her. You should have seen how wisely she proceeded -- with what caution -- with what foresight, with what dissimulation, she went to work! She was never kinder to the tree than during the whole week before she killed it. And every night about midnight she turned the latch of her door and opened it oh, so gently! And then, when she had made an opening sufficient for her head, she brought out a chainsaw, adjusted so tightly that no chain clanked, and then she thrust out her head. Oh, you would have laughed to see how cunningly she thrust it out! She moved it slowly, very, very slowly, so that she might not disturb the tree's sleep. It took her an hour to place her whole head within the opening so far that she could see it as it stood upon the yard. Ha! would a madwoman have been so wise as this?
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debeez

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Re: Botanicide
« Reply #11 on: September 11, 2006, 09:10:26 pm »

oookay...

Well before y'all go completely around the bend, all I want to know is...what was that really yummy lunch pictured?

Thanks to my gestational diabetes, and all these damn doctors hovering about me hounding me about what I eat, and how I'm not gaining weight 'like I'm supposed to' [bite me] I now find myself obsessing on any scrap of food, good or otherwise.  And damn, but that thing looked yummy.  What the heck was it?

Could it possibly pass within the guidelines of my doctor-imposed carb count limitations?  Please say yes!
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Christine
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Kirsten

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Re: Botanicide
« Reply #12 on: September 11, 2006, 09:44:09 pm »

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« Last Edit: March 14, 2007, 06:36:43 pm by Kirsten »
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debeez

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Re: Botanicide
« Reply #13 on: September 12, 2006, 07:51:33 am »

Yum...I think it was the tomato smothered with cheese that got me drooling.

When I get this darling baby out of me I'm heading straight for a restaurant that will serve me as much pasta as I can possibly manage to eat...Olive Garden...or, better yet...Carrabba's.  I think I'll have myself a Carrabbarita while I'm at it.  Hell, make it two!

Alcohol and about a billion servings of carbs, wouldn't my doctors be horrified!  Hehe.
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Christine
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Kirsten

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Re: Botanicide
« Reply #14 on: September 15, 2006, 03:21:53 pm »

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« Last Edit: April 04, 2007, 02:08:47 pm by Kirsten »
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