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Topic: how John DeWitt muckled our clubhouse (Read 2240 times)
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penguinsscareme
Sr. Member
 Offline
Member #365
Posts: 4872
Keeper of the red button
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So here's what happened:
[knock knock]
"Who's there?"
"It's me, John DeWitt [edit]/Joel [/edit]!"
"Oh, hiya dude! C'mon in!"
"How you doing?"
"Okay, thanks. You want some milk and moonpies?"
"Yeah, you bet."
"How's the book coming?"
"I'm taking a small break, so I thought I'd come over and see if you ever did get that Fresno thing straightened out."
"Well, I've been a little preoccupied lately, as you know, but I think I've got it as close to fixed as it's ever going to get. You know I still blame you for that, at least in part."
"You were drunk, I was...less drunk. End of story. So what have you been working on lately?"
"Well, I've fabricated a fully functioning model of the spacetime continuum to run some test scenarios on. I just finished uploading the whole thing into a phantom file on TCF yesterday. Friggin' thing's huge, but I figure, hell, I'm not paying for the bandwidth. The way I look at it, I'm not taking up any more space than LadyLearning would've been if she were still around."
"Have you fired it up yet?"
"Just a few milk runs. I installed new Y-axis probability algorithms late last night with some reconfigured Gray Zone random synapse drivers."
"Cool! Hey, speaking of milk runs..."
"Top you off? You got it, dude...uh...don't, you know, touch anything."
...
"Dude?"
"This isn't what it looks like."
"Oh. That's good. Because it looks like you pushed the red button."
"The one with the post-it that says 'Never touch this'?"
"Yeah."
"Would that be bad?"
"Hm. Well, if spiking the program with over a gigawatt of shock-loaded, reverse-polarity Keplerite, thereby initiating a self-sustaining chain reaction and completely frying The Claire Files in under a thousandth of a second is bad, then yes.Yes it would."
"Oh...oh. Ah. Well, there was this spider, and he was crawling around on the control panel, and so I swatted at him with your new issue of the Economist, and...well, there you go."
"John?"
"Yes?"
"Has anyone ever beaten you bloody with your own leg before?"
That's what happened! And if that isn't every word the truth...well, it oughta be.
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« Last Edit: March 20, 2007, 02:44:27 PM by penguinsscareme »
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Logged
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O Lord,
Thine Ocean is so great,
And my boat is so small.
Sportos, motorheads, dweebies, wastoids...they think he's a righteous dude.
The utter waste of our $2,000,000,000 a day military-industrial machine was never demonstrated more vividly than on 9/11.
You do what works.
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Alchemist
Full Member
Offline
Member #594
Posts: 570
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Oh, Dear God, no! I'm still rebuilding my Laboratory after the last Catalysmic Event precipitated by you two! Every perturbation of the continuum around Fresno sets me back months!
AAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!
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Once in a while you can get shown the light
In the strangest of places if you look at it right
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H.M. WoggleBug, T.E.
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Frickin' spiders.
'Bug doesn't like spiders, though spiders like bugs.
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Logged
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Take care of the means, and the end will take care of itself.
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Joel
Just a peckerwood who lives in the hills with too many guns.
Sr. Member
Offline
Member #432
Posts: 5517
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 Everybody's making a fuss. We needed a break, anyway. Not like any real harm came of it. Nobody likes spiders. Your fault anyway. Trying to save a buck by using TCF's bandwidth. Shame on you. Really.
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« Last Edit: September 02, 2005, 09:23:14 PM by John DeWitt »
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Claire
Guest
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 ROTFL Dude, that's just wrong! You gotta admit, it does explain a lot, though. I need to refresh my mind about this whole "perturbations in the space-time continuum around Fresno" thing. But I'm afraid if I venture into the Twinkie thread where the anomaly first occurred I may never find my way out again. |
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Not a TMM member
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« Last Edit: September 17, 2007, 03:19:37 PM by bucctoo »
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Not sympathetic to the tinfoil hat crowd.
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penguinsscareme
Sr. Member
Offline
Member #365
Posts: 4872
Keeper of the red button
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I need to refresh my mind about this whole "perturbations in the space-time continuum around Fresno" thing. But I'm afraid if I venture into the Twinkie thread where the anomaly first occurred I may never find my way out again. Just search "fresno."Â Lots to see and do. No need to venture into the impenetrable swamps of the Twinkie thread. More than a few intrepid folks have gone that way only to disappear forever. |
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« Last Edit: February 08, 2006, 08:52:04 PM by penguinsscareme »
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Logged
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O Lord,
Thine Ocean is so great,
And my boat is so small.
Sportos, motorheads, dweebies, wastoids...they think he's a righteous dude.
The utter waste of our $2,000,000,000 a day military-industrial machine was never demonstrated more vividly than on 9/11.
You do what works.
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H.M. WoggleBug, T.E.
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Actually, the only truly frightening thing is the "Fresno" part. I mean, come ON. FRESNO??
Might've well have picked Peoria!
'Bug
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Take care of the means, and the end will take care of itself.
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Roy J. Tellason
Sr. Member
Offline
Member #400
Posts: 6122
Techy Kinda Guy and Serious Bookaholic
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*contented sigh*
Yes, it's GOOD to be back, folks!
Even if I _am_ staying out of the twinkie thread as well. :-)
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Member of the toughest, meanest, deadliest, most unrelenting -- and ablest -- form of life in this section of space, a critter that can be killed but can't be tamed. --Robert A. Heinlein, "The Puppet Masters"
--
Information is more dangerous than cannon to a society ruled by lies. --James M Dakin
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hermit
Full Member
Offline
Member #886
Posts: 263
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Not so fast, JD. I'm not sure if any harm has came of it yet. Just think of the sequence of events:
1. Birds plays with more technology than he is allowed.
2. JD (or maybe it was anti-freedom gremlins - alcohol was involved, so memories may not be exact) push the red button.
3. As withdrawal becomes life-threatening, Plinker gets us a temporary fix.
4. Plinker is narrowly missed by the meanest hurricane ever.
I mean, really, forget Fresno - what have ya'll started? Where will it end?
Is Fresno in the Gulf now? Or maybe it's reappearing in the Triangle?
Hmmmm...... That may explain some things.
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You can't fix stupid.
Omnes Homines Aut Liberi Sunt Aut Servi
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Elias Alias
Administrator
Sr. Member
Offline
Member #2
Posts: 3834
TMM
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Birds, whatever you're smokin' - share! Definitely, undebatably, "wrong". Just "wrong"!  |
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"Heirs to self-knowledge shed gently their fears..."
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snokrash257
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Birds, whatever you're smokin' - share! Definitely, undebatably, "wrong". Just "wrong"! If that's wrong, I wouldn't wanna be right! |
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Joel
Just a peckerwood who lives in the hills with too many guns.
Sr. Member
Offline
Member #432
Posts: 5517
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Is Fresno in the Gulf now? Or maybe it's reappearing in the Triangle?
No, no. There's much less damage effect than we feared. Fresno is right where we left it, honest. Though people there seem unusually prone to wear striped jackets with tails. And ride those bicycles with the one really tall wheel. And the flowers turn to watch you pass, and that's a little disconcerting. |
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